Therapy for Parental Loss & Grief
Your whole world is changing.
Whether you are grieving a parent who has died or someone who is still here, loss can feel debilitating.
Watching a loved one slowly slip away is a confusing kind of grief. You may be cherishing the time you have while grieving who you remember, the conversations you used to have, the things they used to be able to do, the relationship you once knew - all while they are sitting right in front of you.
Maybe you find yourself wondering, Is this the month I lose them? Or putting extreme pressure on yourself to make the time you have left meaningful: have the important conversations, make amends, ask the questions, or somehow create the perfect goodbye.
After a parent passes, grief can be just as disorienting. You can feel okay one moment, then find yourself crying in the bread aisle the next. You may catch yourself struggling with which tense to use when talking about them, or wondering how everyone is carrying on around you as if nothing happened, while your world has been turned upside down. Dreading another “I'm sorry for your loss,” while simultaneously wishing someone would tell a story about them to remind you that they were real, they were here, and they were yours.
And then there are the milestones. A wedding, a new baby, a birthday, an accomplishment. You can be incredibly happy and deeply sad at the same time, grieving not only your parent, but all the moments you thought they would be there to see.
There is room here for all of it, the sadness, anger, confusion, love, guilt, fear, and even joy that can exist alongside grief.
Sound Familiar?
You feel guilty enjoying your life, celebrating milestones, or moving forward when they can’t be there with you.Worry about your parent’s health and wellbeing has become all-consuming, and somewhere along the way, taking care of yourself has fallen to the bottom of the list.The quiet breakdowns are happening more often. You cry in the car, on a walk, in the shower, or the moment you finally have time alone, because it feels like you’re always on the verge of everything spilling overYou’ve started pulling away from friends or family because you worry you’re becoming a “burden,” don’t want their "pity", or simply don’t know how to explain what you’re going through.You feel so overwhelmed that even small, everyday tasks feel harder. You can’t think straight, you’re losing sleep, and part of you is still struggling to grasp that you’re losing your parent, or that they’re already gone.
How Can Therapy Help?
Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and therapy isn’t about helping you “get over” the loss of your parent.
It can give you somewhere to talk about them, say the things you may not feel comfortable saying elsewhere, and put words to feelings that can change from one day, or even one moment, to the next. If your parent is still here, therapy can also help you navigate anticipatory grief and the uncertainty of loving someone while preparing for a loss you don’t feel ready for.
Losing a parent changes you. You may not feel like the same person you were before their illness, during it, or after their death. Together, we can make sense of what you’re experiencing and find ways to carry your relationship with your parent forward while also navigating the life continuing around you.
The goal isn’t to forget them, let go, or stop missing them. It’s learning how to hold the love and the loss together, while slowly finding your way through everything that comes next.